OMG! The World Will End Dec. 31, 2009

And it is not just because that's my 20th wedding anniversary.

No, the proof is right there pinned to my bulletin board. And I'm not alone. The evidence is starring you in the eye, too. Look at your calendar. What comes after Dec. 31, 2009?

NOTHING! The vast emptiness of the universal void! Board the Ark, it's time to sail to the new Africa!!! (hint)

No? OK. So maybe the unlikeliness of completing 20 years of marriage made plausible the idea that Mayans predicted the world's end in 2012. I mean, how likely was that?

NASA has a web page that takes on the movie 2012 point by point. On the fact that Mayans ran out of stone in 2012, the site explains:

Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period but then -- just as your calendar begins again on January 1 -- another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

For me, the authoritative voice on the subject of calendars is not the Mayans, but the drug-clouded haze of the '60s and '70s.

Listen to the Oracle in her own words: